Will You Still Love Me When I Got Nothing When Your Husband Wants a Divorce But You Still Love Him

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When Your Husband Wants a Divorce But You Still Love Him

I often hear about women who want to change their husbands’ attitudes about divorce. Some common comments I hear are things like: “He wants a divorce but I still love him and I don’t want to be without him.” Or, “He’s divorced.” I still love him and I want to save the marriage. Should I just accept this? Is there nothing I can do?

Things are very difficult when you know that you still love your husband but you doubt that his desire means that he still loves you. But, when you add the aforementioned or a divorce filing into the mix, it can add instability to an already complicated situation. You may feel like you are running out of time. In the next article, I’ll discuss illegal ways to try when you’re sure that loving him means you don’t want to go through with the divorce.

Know That His Wanting A Divorce Doesn’t Mean He Doesn’t Love You Anymore: The main idea is that if a man wants a divorce, he no longer loves his wife and wants to leave her as soon as possible. This is not always true. Sometimes, they don’t know what to do or they don’t see a viable alternative. Sometimes I talk to men who are in this situation and many tell me that divorce is on the table because they don’t see any real change or improvement on the horizon.

I often hear them say things like: “We’ve tried different things but nothing works. I’m not happy and I know he probably isn’t. It’s not that I don’t love him. I do. I don’t think being married is good for either of us. all of us.”

Do you see the difference here? It is not that a man in such a situation does not love his wife. It is that his mind is telling him that he is in an unpleasant situation that will not change. Therefore, in his opinion the best (and perhaps only) option is to walk away so that both of you can be happy in the end.

Still Loving Your Husband May Not Be Enough (At Least In His Eyes) To Convince Him Not To Go Through With The Divorce: Most of the time, women who are in such a situation consider the fact that they still love their husbands. I often have men tell me that a woman repeats “But I still love you” like a mantra. The thing is, if love were enough, then they would not have thought of divorce. So, even if you still have romantic feelings for him that’s a great thing, it’s not the only thing. Don’t let this be your only goal.

Remember how I said that maybe the reason he wanted a divorce was because he thought things in the family were not good and that they could not change? Well, this is often the best place to focus your attention. You have to show him that things can change and things can change. You need to show him that you can both be happy. (Telling him usually doesn’t cut it either.)

Often, when I tell women this, they respond with things like: “I’m afraid it’s too late. She won’t believe me now. She’ll think I’m just trying to manipulate her into changing her mind.” You might be right. This may be the first answer. But, you won’t know unless you try. And most of the time, the worst thing that happens is that you control his feelings about you and the family. Of course this is not a bad thing. Yes, most of the time you have to be patient and take it slowly, but I have seen many marriages saved by just focusing on improving the thoughts and feelings of the husband and making real changes in the relationship.

How Can I Change His Mind About Divorce When His Mind Is Made Up And He Doesn’t Listen To Me?: This is one of the questions I get asked the most. The thing is, it’s possible that you’ve been repeating the same words over and over again to the point that your husband can’t hear them. So, when you start going the same old way they just look and stop listening. He doesn’t want to hear the same old things again because in his mind he knows how things will turn out.

Often the way around this is to change the message. Often times when I say this, some women take it to mean that I am talking about doing or saying something weird or off the wall to get their attention. No, I mean the opposite. He should suspect that you’re getting close to being desperate so this is your first chance to prove to him that his assumptions (on many levels) are wrong.

Instead of talking to him or talking to him, make him think that you are high. Many women look at me in surprise when I mention this. I often get responses like: “So you want me to agree to a divorce? Are you kidding me? Are you crazy?” I promise the answer is no to all of these questions. Actually, I am asking you to be more cooperative because this will change your situation on many levels. Usually in the end it means that you will be given more opportunities for your husband. It also means that they start seeing you better.

You don’t have to go forward with the divorce. And that doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It just means you’re changing direction and it works like this. When you are calm and convincing, tell your husband that you have given the matter a lot of thought and you see and understand that he is doing what he thinks is right. Obviously, you don’t want a divorce but you want both of you to be happy and you don’t want to continue dating him because your relationship is very important to you. You have to focus that you want to save your relationship because it will be “in”.

Yes, you know you don’t want a relationship to end because of a divorce, but if that’s how you have to play it to get a chance and change your mind, then everyone wins. During this time, you start doing very small things. You show your husband that the two of you can communicate well and you show him that his thought that he is fine without you may not be correct. This usually takes time and works best if you’re moving slowly. But this often helps you get the most out of it and saves several families.

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