Who Says He Is Boss When The Officer Asks What Is an Abuse Victim’s Definition of an "Authority Figure?"

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What Is an Abuse Victim’s Definition of an "Authority Figure?"

Ask anyone what an authority figure is and he will give you a logical answer – that is, anyone in a position of authority. But ask a grown child, who endured parental dysfunction, alcoholism, and abuse during his upbringing, the same question, and he’ll likely give you an emotionally painful answer. “Authority” for him, significantly exceeds the traditional definition of the word and therefore, so does the concept of “parent”.

Subjected to some two decades of betrayal and loss, without choice, recourse, escape or remedy, these grown children, though physically unstable, are emotionally unstable, often appearing deceptively confident and competent. However, their years of denigration, demoralization, stigmatization, and dangerous exposure to parental transgressions that they cannot protect or protect themselves have destroyed them and without the faith that would otherwise allow people to connect with others in the world at large and Enables love.

According to the textbook Adult Children of Alcoholics (World Service Organization, 2006, p. 10) “adult children often lead secret lives of fear.” “Fear, or sometimes terror, is the connecting thread that connects the 14 traits. Two of the first three traits describe our fear of people. Many adults appear happy, helpful, or self-reliant, but most children live with fear of their parents and spouse in addition to fear of employers. … They sense impending doom or nothing comes of it.

This fear is the principle parameter used when an adult child tries to define an “authoritative figure”.

According to the ACA textbook (p. 355) “(All) children look to authority to help them define what is real and make appropriate decisions regarding others. “The support of responsible authority gives them the confidence to develop their own ability to live effectively in the world.”

“(However), the tragedy for children in alcoholic homes,” he continues (p. 355), “is that they are robbed of a pattern of life based on the responsibility of conscience…the attitude of abuse that dominates all addictive behavior in the family, and the attitude that children Learn to be accepting in others and in yourself.”

Unconsciously negotiating the world with a hairpin trigger, such people are frequently tripped up by others, who can be classified as “authorities” for many reasons.

Appearing taller, heavier, and/or stronger, such physical characteristics may place the individual at a current disadvantage by suggesting or recreating the imbalance of parental power play in his early life.

Speech, tone of voice, voice, movement, actions and mannerisms are behavioral features that remind or reactivate it.

According to the ACA textbook (p. 417) “We experience a negative ‘internal reaction’ when dealing with someone who has the physical characteristics or mannerisms of our alcoholic qualifier.”

Mild imbalances, such as someone else’s better job, higher salary, and greater comforts—like a bigger house or a more luxurious car—can cause some discomfort.

Bank tellers, store salespeople, teachers, supervisors, bosses, policemen, and judges are the myriad tasks, roles, and titles of life, along with the broader, rule-making and support institutions of customs, immigration, court systems, prisons, governments. And the gods, too, are adorned with the word “authority,” and adults place children in judgment, almost without harm in their case.

Enhancing these powers and emphasizing their power are those performing their duties in uniform, which can literally dictate their superiority. People with a safer, more stable upbringing may speed past a police car parked on the side of the road, which is well over the speed limit, but a grown child may take his foot off the gas pedal, even though he maintains a decelerating speed, almost certain to collide with him. Try to avoid trapped emotions.

Regularly targeted by predatory parents and “punished” for doing little more than existed during his upbringing, he has become accustomed to being held responsible for the unruly behavior of others and responsible for transgressions he never committed.

“Statistics frighten us and we are afraid when we need to talk to them,” again according to the ACA textbook (p. 417).

“We confuse our boss or supervisor with our alcoholic parent(s) or qualifier, and they have similar relationships, behaviors, and reactions that date back to childhood (ACA Textbook, p. 417).

Forcing, swallowing, shelving, denying and even lying about his past to believe that he is “gone and forgotten”, the adult child fails to realize and understand that it is not and that only an authority figure can do it. Gently press his “play” button, prompting his unresolved and sometimes traumatic recordings to relive in his mind. This condition can lead to different forms of insanity.

“Insanity,” according to the ACA textbook (p. 359), begins when children are forced to deny the reality of pain and abuse. Once children accept the idea that drinking is not violent or dangerous, they have no basis for making decisions about what is real or how to respond to those around them. They no longer believe in authority to guide them or protect them from harm.”

Indeed, the “authorities” created their harm, abandoned them in their hour of greatest need, and then no one appeared to protect them from their original and only “authority”.

According to the ACA textbook (p. 11), “We carry that fear (of sacrifice) into our adult lives, and we fear our employers, certain relationships, and group situations.” “We fear authority figures or become authority figures.”

In the latter case, the misbehavior is transmitted from the abused child, who becomes an adult child, and then to his own offspring, if he does not recover sufficiently, to repeat the behavior he was introduced to.

The definition of an adult child, after all, has little to do with what the authority figure does, but rather what he subconsciously believes he does to him, and this involves many subtle factors.

First and foremost, an officer assumes the displaced face of his parent or primary caregiver, seemingly gently uprooting the sediments of his past, which he thought were well buried.

Second, it ignites an emotional link, like a thread stretching from the present to the past, or creates in him now, as an adult, and later, as a child, the anxieties, fears, and fears that were first created by his parents. His original betrayal—or the one that inadvertently placed him on the “enemy” side of their fence and created the mistrust that separated him from them and, ultimately, from most of the rest of the world. Instead of being attracted, it repelled, eventually alienating him from them and from God or the higher power of his understanding.

Paradoxically, what he now most needs to heal his condition—reunion with others—he mostly denies.

Although decades have passed since the original violation, the reproduced emotions may cause similar or even identical reactions, leaving him physically, mentally, and neurologically underdeveloped and resulting in present-day impotence and paralysis.

Finally, the neuro-pathways, or the connections between his brain cells or neurons, may be so thick and established, that he automatically brings them back to their origin, so that he would now be 30 or 30 or four or five years old. 40 or 50.

According to the ACA textbook (p. 379) “The abuse of childhood entitlement figures has made us wary of entitlement figures as adults.” “We tend to place people in the categories of authority figures when they are not such persons… Our past experience tells us that any leader, employer or official is inherently an authority figure and is to be distrusted.”

If a loving, nurturing and protective parent treated me this way, reasoned the mature child, how would the rest of the world, who have not known me since Adam and therefore owe me nothing, treat me?

The purpose of the brain, above all, is to enhance and ensure the survival of a person, and it processes any potential threat, whether in its primitive or reptilian part, by triggering a flood of stress hormones so that the person is sufficiently healthy. will be Encouraged for a fight or flight action that would improve his chances of survival if this happened. An abused child, faced with a forcefully and hopelessly unbalanced power play, can do nothing but escape by creating an inner child sanctuary and therefore literally drowns in the bodily reactions that arise within him, defeating both this useless response and the harmful parent. which tripped its circuit.

It takes a few more milliseconds to catch up to his situation and register in the higher, reasoning part of the brain. But, wired as “better safe than sorry,” the bottom often reacts with authority figures representing parents, often late in life, leaving the person with no choice but to struggle, paving the way for higher tasks. Waves of fear and terror surged through him. Repeated core-event betrayals and threats create chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Forced, before understanding or recovery, to negotiate life through survival attributes that he believes seeks to mitigate the threat to which he is subject, he implements a people-pleasing strategy to pacify, pacify, and mollify his parental-displaced authority figures. And so create the illusion that he is kind, helpful and benevolent – in other words, that he is a friend and not the enemy he appears to be in the eyes of his parents or primary caregivers. In all cases, the motivation is to improve his chances of survival in his emotionally weakened state, although this danger exists almost exclusively in his mind, but outside him, in the world.

Two of the 14 survival characteristics echo the fearful state of the adult child: “We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures” and “We became approval seekers and lost our own identity in the process.”

According to the ACA textbook (p. 11), “becoming a people pleaser” is a strategy adopted by older children to avoid being criticized, shamed, or abandoned. Even grown children try to disarm angry or fearful people. Approval-seeking behavior… We believe that we will be safe and that we will never leave if we are ‘nice’ and never show anger.”

Authority figures and people-pleasing dynamics are byproducts of being forced to deal with stigmatized, dysfunctional, and sometimes dangerous parents or primary caregivers without knowing or understanding the reasons behind their actions, because the abuse is never recognized or labeled as inappropriate. . The adult child, after all, believed that his parents represented everyone else in the world.

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