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How to Set Boundaries With Friends When You’re a People Pleaser

I have a friend (who I almost got rid of) who had the most annoying habit of asking me personal questions in front of other people. She didn’t do it maliciously.

She was just ignorant. I used to cringe inside and when she would ask me questions that were either out of her range or inappropriate due to the setting.

I used to think “This Girl Has No Boundaries” But this was the truth of the matter I had no boundaries. I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted from my friend – to be respected.

Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, but it’s also liberating. I’ll give you 3 tips on how to set boundaries with friends so that your friends (and people in general) respect you. Most of all, you will learn to respect yourself.

What is a boundary?

A boundary is a limitation. This is the limit you set for what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable. It is your comfort zone. No one can tell you what your comfort zone is or should be. Boundaries are like fences – they keep things (people, dogs,) out of your space if you don’t want them there.

What stops you from setting boundaries?

People pleasing. uk. The fear that others wouldn’t like me kept me from setting boundaries. I have such a people pleasing personality that I won’t talk unless I’m angry. Then, I’ll blow people away completely.

I don’t do that anymore. And you don’t have to either.

Tip #1 – Know Yourself

The only way to learn to set boundaries is to know yourself. Make a list of what you like. Then make a list of what you don’t like. Then write down the things you like and the things you love.

Your list might include things like: “I hate bullies” or “I like assertive people”. When you know yourself, you will respect your feelings.

Tip #2 – Pay attention to how you feel

Emotions are very important. When you ignore your feelings by pushing them down with food, drugs, alcohol, minimizing, denying, you lose the ability to take care of yourself. Your emotions are your friend. They communicate that something is wrong (or right).

I used to do everything possible to get away from my feelings – until I realized that my feelings were God-given and important.

Tip #3 – Pay attention to how your boundaries are achieved

Most people will respect your boundaries. Sometimes, we need to redo the boundary. However, there are some people (bullies) who will try to cross all your boundaries. They will succeed if you let them.

Here’s how to tell if you’re in a healthy relationship…

If you set boundaries and your friend repeatedly ignores the boundaries or tries to convince you that your boundaries are “wrong” or tries to intimidate you with valid reasons for your boundaries, then your friendship is an insecure one.

I would definitely tell my girlfriend that if she can’t respect my boundaries then the friendship should end.

conclusion

Like anything else in life, setting boundaries takes practice if you want to get good at it. And finally, never be afraid to let go of people who don’t respect your boundaries.

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