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So, Who Is Mr Right Anyway?
I have been a tarot reader for 23 years and in that time I have had the honor of knowing the hopes, dreams and deepest secrets of thousands of people. Many of my clients come to me for confirmation of what they already know, or they are at a crossroads and are stuck on which direction to go. Some people are married and wish they weren’t, and some are single and wish they were. was not The grass always seems to be greener on the other side of the fence!
Looking for Mr./Mrs. Wright
All types of relationships create a large number of reasons why both men and women seek my advice. Some want to know if the person they are with, or the person they just met, is the right person for them, or if they have to wait for someone else to come along.
I’m obviously generalizing here, but many people are disappointed to find that handsome man or amazing woman they just met will bring them more pain than joy. What other people think about their choice of partner often matters – and the better they look, the better they look as a way to raise their own self-esteem. As if being a good partner means that we are somehow special over people whose partners do not enjoy obvious physical beauty.
In the superficial world that many of us live in, true love is hard to surface when not married to a pretty face and a fit body!
Many people have this vision of the perfect partner who will fulfill their life and the only minor squabbles will be over who does the washing up or takes out the trash! Whether you call it a soulmate, twin flame or Mr./Ms. Right, it’s the same – most people have that one person who will understand them completely and life will be harmonious and better when we meet them.
What people don’t ask themselves is – what would that epitome of virtue look like in us? Why would they single us out to be their lifelong companions? It’s not enough to look fantastic and/or be sexy – not for a lifetime commitment. There must be some other attraction, something deeper and beyond the physical.
Are we ready to change ourselves?
When I ask this question, I don’t mean losing weight, going to the gym, or changing my hair color. I mean, are we willing to change ourselves internally to become the best ‘us’ we can be?
It’s all about finding great long-term partners, but given that the world runs on energy, we’ll only attract partners that are at our current energy level.
In short, if we have issues with self-love, we may attract a partner who makes us feel bad about ourselves. If we have abandonment issues, we may attract a partner who is unreliable and leaves us in a state of uncertainty most of the time.
‘Be the change you want to see in the world’ – to paraphrase a famous Gandhi quote, ‘Be the partner you want to see in your life’. If we are not loving and kind to ourselves or others, how can any of us expect to attract a loving and kind partner? How can any of us expect honesty and integrity if we lie, cheat and pretend we are not? The truth will always come out in the end!
We ideally need to get to a place within ourselves where we are happy to be alone because we love ourselves. We find that we are good company and know ourselves enough to always find something of interest in which we can immerse ourselves. By doing so, we become more interesting to others, and more likely to attract Mr./Mrs. We, who may potentially have similar goals and interests. It’s a win/win situation.
We must also forget the illusion that someone else can make us happy – they can’t, and never put that pressure on another person – it’s unfair. Only we can make ourselves happy – then we attract other people who can share and amplify that happiness. It also encourages other people to be around – sharing happiness and being in the flow of happiness is great, but being the object of someone else’s happiness is something no one can tolerate in the long run. Sooner or later they will want to break free – especially if they are not managing to bring the other person the happiness they expect from them.
I would like to submit that if we currently have a spouse/spouse, that person is currently Mr./Mrs. They may not be perfect for the future, but they are perfect for where we are in our lives right now.
If we are truly happy in our relationship, now may be our ultimate relationship and we will grow together into a rich and fulfilling old age.
If we are unhappy in our relationship, it indicates that we need to do some work on ourselves to increase our energy. We need to love ourselves more, and in doing so, either our partner will change with us, or they will leave us (or we will leave them), because we no longer resonate on an energetic level. I’m not saying it’s easy for one instance, and if someone is in this situation they need outside support to come to a place of self-love, self-acceptance and what they truly deserve to be loved.
Blaming our partners for our unhappiness is a waste of time and a distraction. It’s better to save the energy you spend on guilt and use it to ask yourself why you attracted someone who disrespects you, is violent, or just plain boring you. Once we find the answer to this question, then we can make changes in ourselves so that unhappy relationships are eliminated from our lives.
I have a very good friend who has been happily married for over 25 years. She told me that if you are in the right relationship, it doesn’t take a lot of work. That’s not to say that she and her husband don’t annoy each other from time to time, but their love and respect for each other outweighs the petty things that are soon over and done with.
I wish you all the Mr./Mrs. of your dreams and you will be the Mr./Mrs. of their dreams too!
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