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If Your Girlfriend Left You Over Money Problems, You Need to Take Action
What is the number one reason most relationships break up? Terrible sex? Too annoying? Inconsistency? Another lover? Did you just drift apart? It is none of these. By far, the biggest reason for relationship failure can be summed up in one word: money.
If you have money problems, you have a big problem ahead of you. Nothing creates stress and anxiety like constantly struggling with bills, paying rent, car payments – or maybe not even being able to afford a car at all! If your girlfriend left you because of money problems, you have the most difficult situation to deal with. Getting an ex girlfriend back is hard as it is. It’s even harder when you’re hard-pressed to get cash.
But before we get all depressed about this situation, let’s get some perspective. Many people think that if they were rich or at least better off, their girlfriend would never have left them. It’s not that simple. If you don’t believe it, look at what’s happening to the rich and famous around the world, be it movie stars or royalty. It quickly becomes apparent that people with a lot of money don’t have good luck – it’s apparently sometimes very bad luck – staying in relationships. How many movie stars can you think of in the next five minutes who have two, three or maybe even four divorces under their belts?
The fact is, having lots of money is no guarantee of relationship success. If you’re feeling down about yourself because your girlfriend left you because of financial problems, it’s time to rethink the whole situation. You could be filthy rich and she still left.
What does this tell you about money? Clearly, it doesn’t matter how much or how little you have. If the fundamentals of your relationship are strong, even a dire money situation should not be an excuse to leave your girlfriend. Money is just a convenient excuse, an external factor.
Okay, but let’s also recognize that while money wasn’t the ultimate reason she left you, it was definitely a contributing factor. Because constant stress over money creates an overall atmosphere of stress and conflict. It is very difficult for any relationship to thrive in an environment of constant conflict.
Surprisingly, many people do the exact opposite of what they should do when they have money problems and their spouse leaves – they get themselves into even more debt! That’s right!
There is something about relationship problems that can make many men lose all common sense. For example, they think that if they only have a nice car, maybe their girlfriend will come back to them. So they pull out all the stops, marshal all their resources and take out a big loan to get some new wheels. So now they have a shiny new car, and even more debt and payment worries. To get that new car, they might have to take out a second mortgage on their home or take out huge credit card debt.
Others blow the cash on some sort of bribe—perhaps an expensive piece of jewelry to hang behind her back in front of her ex. Although this works in the short term, as soon as new bills start arriving, the stress level rises to an all-new level. In this situation, the relationship is probably doomed.
So if your ex girlfriend left you because of money stress, the first step to getting her back is to start dealing with your issues one at a time. If you have money problems the last thing you want to do is get into more money problems. What you need to do is start taking control of your financial life. Rather than buying a new car – maybe it’s time to sell the car you have!
It’s all about prioritizing your life. You have to decide if you want to put your relationships and personal life first or become a slave to all your bills. Of course, managing one’s financial life is never an easy task. If you feel like you can’t handle it yourself, by all means, get some financial advice from a professional. You will not have to spend a single penny for this. There are many free debt counseling services – especially during these tough economic times – that are available to you. Take advantage of them. Get some help creating a solid plan to start paying off your debt and start making more money.
Taking the first step towards getting your financial life under control can be a huge relief. You will immediately realize that you are finally doing something positive to take control of your life. When you begin to gain financial control, you begin to reduce the omnipresent stress that is plaguing you and making your relationship a living hell. It’s a sad fact of our modern society that even when two people love each other, a normal state of financial stress can cripple even a great relationship.
So let’s say you work hard, make tough decisions, and begin the process of becoming more financially stable – but at the same time, you still have others Problem – the fact that your girlfriend is gone! All of this may sound overwhelming, and it is! That’s why you need to take a deep breath, realize that the toughest problems don’t go away easily or overnight, and take it one day at a time.
This does not mean that you cannot take the first steps to repair your broken relationship and take action to get your ex girlfriend back. It might not be a bad idea to communicate with your ex and tell her what you are up to. Maybe write her a letter and tell her something like:
“I know times have been hard, and we argue a lot about money. I don’t blame you for not wanting to live a stressful life full of constant worry about bills, or that we never have money to go out and work. No fun. I really think my money problems Contributing heavily to our breakup. Again, I don’t blame you, I blame myself. I just want you to know that I am taking positive steps to improve my financial situation. Take control. I never want to have money problems again. I hope so. If I do, I really think our relationship will be special again. I hope you’ll give me time. My ship is right, and come back to me when I’m in good shape. Might as well think, and when we don’t have so much trouble worrying or arguing all the time…”
… or something along those lines.
Note that this is just an example of what kind of letter you can write to your ex girlfriend. But notice that the message in our example is not begging or blaming. You only “blame yourself” and you don’t even beg your girlfriend to come back to you. You are letting her know that you still care here and that you are making positive changes in your life because of her. You can’t lose from this approach. Most girls will be happy that their ex wants to make drastic changes in their own lives and try to make a better world for you both.
However, you have to give it time. Money problems do not go away overnight. If you have really serious money problems, things can get worse before they get better. But unless you get to the root of the problem and eliminate the financial stress in your life, it will be extremely difficult to get your ex girlfriend back. And even if it comes back, it can only go away again when all the old money problems resurface.
If there is anything positive about a broken relationship, it is that this difficult situation helps us re-examine what is wrong with our lives and it forces us to improve our situation overall. Taking control of money problems is one of the best things anyone can do – and it sets the stage for a stable and happy relationship that will last forever.
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