We Were Just Kids When We Fell In Love How to Fall in Love With Your Kids Again!

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How to Fall in Love With Your Kids Again!

Some days I think my kids are going to drive me crazy. Some days I wonder what I was thinking having two of them. Maybe we should have stuck with four legs and fur. And then there are days when they make you smile like I haven’t in years. They ask questions that I don’t have the answers to, or that I haven’t given the slightest thought to. And who said sales people aren’t born, kids under 10 should win the sales person of the year award.

But how do you really fall back on the love I have with your kids, when it seems like we don’t get enough time to spend with the kids, ourselves, or our spouses? When I’m walking from lessons to games to the grocery store to work, oh and don’t forget to include work, it all becomes a blur.

While driving to another meeting last week, I tuned into my favorite station while they were hosting the annual Stollery Children’s Hospital Telethon in Edmonton, AB. The stories I told on telethons when my son was one, the heartache of the people behind the scenes would come to any children’s hospital.

There was one family, whose son was in the hospital, that tugged at my heartstrings. She began by telling us that it was a typical day at the breakfast table, when her son pushed his chair away from the table and said, “Done.” The chair flipped back, fell to the floor, and in that moment their lives changed as they realized it. After arriving at the stables, doctors had told him that his son would not make it out except in a vegetative state. He talked about the many surgeries, moments of grief and then the amazing miracles his son gave to doctors and how he came through after that, but his journey was far from over.

This was a story I connected with as a mom, because my son would do the exact same dinner routine when he was proud of finishing his dinner. We were lucky parents, our son didn’t even really have a cold and we didn’t have to take him to the hospital. That day I picked up the phone and made my first donation to Stollery, and it felt as good as prepaying the amount on your credit card in hopes of never having to use it.

A year later our daughter was born and the doctors knew right away that her voice was not right, but they believed it was just her throat that had not developed, they assured us that even if it turned, she would be fine. Blue when she was only a few hours old. This was the beginning of a very emotional journey for the next 8 months. We visited several doctors, just waiting for my head to tell me that I really had “comparitis” and that I shouldn’t be comparing my children to each other. I shouldn’t worry so much. I had a hard time believing that when a child turned blue on two more occasions, how was it in my head? No one had an answer, and a nurse once said, “Your child can’t talk and you’re the only one who can go on and on trying to find what’s really wrong and don’t stop until you’re happy with the answer.” And that made me look for more answers.

When we finally met a doctor in Stollery, he believed that babies shouldn’t turn blue and took the time to check things out. Our daughter was scheduled to have surgery in a few days after that appointment. Doctors prepared us for a long recovery and how to deal with everything from feeding tubes to dealing with stress. It turned out that she was another miracle baby who set a recovery record and follow up appointments were more routine than necessary and we were blessed with a son who was going to be “normal” from here on out.

My question is how to deal with everyday, stressful life and fall in love with your children.

My answer for you mom is:

You listen, and I mean really listen, to the telethons and the things parents or grandparents say about their children in the hospital. Some of these families have spent weeks in the ICU or years in and out of the hospital. They change their lives to be closer to their children and the doctor who gives them hope. Most parents talk about how they would give their own lives to avoid what their child is going through. Sometimes the hospital is the only “home” children know or feel comfortable in. If a family or child becomes emotionally attached to a nurse or doctor who shares in your pain, sorrow and those small moments of success. Grateful Yes, I had to pull over and wipe my eyes as I listened, because to me The Stollery is a hospital that I will never know how to thank or repay for what they have given me to my family. Being a constant donor doesn’t seem to justify what they did for my daughter for the credit on my “what if” card.

After my visit I went home, ran to my kids and gave them the biggest, tightest hugs and kisses ever. At that moment I fell in love with him again and I told him how much I loved him. I decided to finger paint instead of pointing, we danced and he painted a blue shirt on the snowman he had just made with his dad and we stayed up late and read 5 books instead of our usual book. Do what you can with your children today, in case your life changes in an instant tomorrow.

This is how you fall in love with your children, you see them as truly a gift from God, a gift we give to the future.

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