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Watering the Plant of Intimate Relationships

Today I want to talk about connection. It’s something we all want more of, and something many of us lack in today’s culture. We don’t really connect with our friends, family members, and even those closest to us: our partners.

Our society doesn’t set us up to prioritize connection. Sure there are phones, text messages, and social media, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the heart to heart connection that can only happen when the phones are put down and we slow down enough to really take each other in.

If you have children, creating a space to connect becomes even more challenging. But what happens when we don’t prioritize connection?

Our relationships are like plants that need proper nurturing to grow and die anywhere and eventually.

Lately I’ve been struggling with connections. My husband and I are parents to an amazing (and rambunctious) two-year-old. I have a coaching business and teach at a university. My husband has his own demanding job. Sometimes it can feel like we’re just tag-team parents and sailing like a ship in the night.

We’ve noticed that we need to take more time to slow down and connect–even if that means not writing a blog post or cleaning the house. It is important to let go of perfection and take time to water the relationship.

Watering your relationship doesn’t look like going to a fancy dinner and a Broadway show (although that’s possible). It can also be sitting next to each other for ten minutes at the end of a busy day, checking in and connecting with the heart for a few minutes. Rush out the door and shout “Love ya bye!” Instead of yelling, it might be taking an extra ten seconds to hug and kiss your partner.

When we make space to connect with our partners, everything becomes easier. Connection lightens our load and helps us remember that we are not doing it all alone. It helps you reconnect with the things that made you fall in love with this person in the first place. And it brings more lightness to everyday life. It helps us connect with gratitude and when we are grateful for what we have, we see the world in a completely different way.

What action can you take this week to slow down and connect with a partner or friend? Notice how it changes your perception and makes you feel fuller inside.

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