The Situation Got Out Of Hand When The Festival My Husband Says He Wants His Old Life Back And Wants a Divorce

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My Husband Says He Wants His Old Life Back And Wants a Divorce

I recently heard from a wife who said she felt like the rug had been pulled out from under her. She had only been married for two years, but she and her husband had just bought a house and started trying to start a family. But then, out of the blue, her husband sat her down and said he didn’t think married life “agreed” with him. He said he didn’t think he wanted to get married and maybe he wasn’t the right man for a wife. He tells her that she deserves better and that he wants his “old life back” where he doesn’t have all these responsibilities. He assured his wife that she would find someone “more mature” and better suited to raise a family.

Needless to say, the wife was floored and beyond devastated. And to be honest, she didn’t know where it was all coming from. Husbands seemed excited and committed as they brought home and planned their family. And now he suddenly wanted a divorce because of his own cold feet? Of course, the wife was afraid of being stuck in a house bigger than herself, but more than that, she loved her husband. She wanted a future with him and she firmly believed that she wanted it too.

She wondered if she had missed some signs or if she was only seeing the things she wanted to see. And, she finds it hard to believe that a husband can simply declare that marriage is not for him and walk away with ease. She asked me what women do in this situation. To be honest, the response to this is as individual as the couple. But as it became clear to me that she didn’t want to walk away without doing her best to save the marriage, I offered her some insights, which I will now share.

Sometimes, the responsibilities of being married scare husbands. But with planning, space and time, things can get better: I think the fact that the couple was only married for a short time was telling. And, the fact that they were getting ready to take the big step of becoming homeowners and parents probably played a role as well. The husband may be looking around and suddenly seeing how different his life is now compared to his previous life.

And this comparison can cause him to feel fear and discomfort. I’m not saying it’s entirely fair. The wife had also changed her lifestyle and was a bit anxious, but she was not seen running. However, the fact was that instead of denying that the husband had these feelings or trying to magically erase them (which probably wasn’t all that possible), the preferable choice was dealing with the issue.

And I thought the wife would have more success if she approached it sensibly instead of being frustrated. Yes, he is probably too charming to be immature and cowardly. And these descriptions will be very accurate. But that might not be the best call to tell a guy who’s already struggling to become a responsible adult.

And sometimes, if you have some patience and play it right, this anxiety and fear from the husband can be removed. He wants to know that you, as his wife, want to make him happy. If this situation is too soon, all that can be changed. The idea is to change the situation rather than marriage.

How to react when your husband says he wants his old life back: This sentence was somewhat offensive to the wife. Because frankly, when the husband was single, he was immature, with no real goals. I told the wife that maybe he doesn’t mean that he wants to be a child without responsibility. What he was probably saying was that he needed some time to have fun with his wife and his friends before he became a father or someone else’s sole support.

This sounded very self-centered and immature to the wife, and she was probably right about that. But the indisputable fact was that he felt that, as his wife, she needed to respect that and open up the discussion. Because I didn’t think compromise was impossible. Nothing says a wife can’t give her husband more free time with her or his friends. And nothing said they couldn’t decide to delay parenthood until they were both ready.

Of course, the wife did not want to wait to start a family. But, she had to admit that it was better to wait for her husband than to sit alone at home struggling. I suggested that she try to have an honest conversation with him about it so that she can understand what the husband finds most disturbing. Once she gets a better sense of what’s really bothering her, she can work on a compromise to make them both happy.

I felt sure there was a happy medium somewhere. Yes, they were married early and suddenly became husband and wife with a mortgage and this was putting pressure on the husband. But there was also a lot of love between them, and I suspected that if the wife focused on love rather than fighting it by taking some very deliberate action at the right time, she might see improvement, even though she really wanted to. was angry

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