I Would Never Leave When She Needs Me Most I Deeply Regret Cheating On My Boyfriend – I’m Scared He’ll Never Propose Now

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I Deeply Regret Cheating On My Boyfriend – I’m Scared He’ll Never Propose Now

I sometimes hear from women who deeply regret cheating on the man they love. They don’t know that this was a huge mistake, but they fear that they will never feel comfortable marrying them because of this mistake.

I might hear a comment like: “Last fall, I went abroad for a semester. I had reservations about leaving my boyfriend, but it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and he encouraged me to go, so I did. We are. Three and a half years together. I love him dearly. I am very close to his mother and sisters. I predicted we would get married when we both got our master’s degrees. Unfortunately, I did something very stupid. I was abroad, I started flirting with one of my classmates. Kelly. I stayed with this guy’s family while I was there. And while we didn’t sleep together, we kissed and we definitely had a relationship. I never intended to leave my boyfriend for another man. And I always knew that once I got back to school, our relationship would Will end. I just fell into another culture. I felt so free there. I almost didn’t feel like myself. Another guy sent me a text the other day. It wasn’t even an inappropriate text. Just a friendly text. But my boyfriend saw it and casually asked who the other guy was. It was not even an accusation. But I just started crying. And it all spilled out. My boyfriend was devastated and told me he was going to ask me to marry him on my birthday, which was only two months away. But he said now I have ruined everything. As if this infidelity wasn’t bad enough, I was finally going to get what I wanted – a proposal. And now I feel like I’ll never get it. Even if there was a chance he could ever forgive me, which I doubt, I don’t think he could marry someone with such a lack of honesty. Besides, if his mother knew this, I’m sure she would cut off all contact with me and demand that her son do the same. My heart is broken. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I know I love my boyfriend and I can be a good wife if he gives me the chance. Is there any way he’ll ever change his mind?”

Well, I can’t say what anyone will do. He would be hurt and understandably hesitant. If the roles are reversed, you can understand how devastated you will feel and how vulnerable you will feel in the future. Because the biggest challenge you face is – restoring trust. People who have been cheated on have a tendency to believe that it can happen again. And so they are always a bit suspicious even though they really love the other person and want to trust that they won’t cheat again.

So that will be your challenge – to show him, perhaps over time, that you will never cheat again. You can try to show that you were never unfaithful in all the years you were dating. You can try to explain that it was a once-in-a-lifetime situation and experience, but I doubt he will fully understand. The thing is, couples have overcome cheating. And people who cheat sometimes never cheat again. In order for him to believe that this is the case, we need to be open to all that he needs from you to make him feel safe. This may again involve not giving up at least for a long time. It could also mean that he will be wary of you until he has had enough time to trust you again.

But that doesn’t mean he will never do it. Some people choose to take a chance and trust. And this is especially true if you’ve shown yourself to be trustworthy after the dust has settled a bit. Understand that you need to be truthful and clear about everything. You never want to give him a reason to distrust you.

As for his mother, there may be a possibility that he chose not to tell her. Honestly, it’s nobody’s business but our own. If he decides to tell her, you’ll have to earn her trust back the same way you earn his trust—by acting with integrity and showing him that you can be a loving and loyal girlfriend who will last a lifetime.

Once you slowly restore trust and show him that you’re the kind of woman a man wants to care about, then you can worry about engagement, but until then I wouldn’t focus on engagement.

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