Exception Is Caught When Exception Is Not Thrown Help: Please Somebody Help Me! Violence Across America

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Help: Please Somebody Help Me! Violence Across America

victim

Her loud screams, cries of pain and pleas for help are barely whispered. She is a victim of domestic violence, rape or brutal assault, fighting desperately against her attacker, clinging to her life. Horribly beaten with blood pouring down her neck, face and head, she lies there several times, almost unconscious. Close doors and windows remain closed. Passers-by do not want to interfere and run away fearing for their lives.

Those who are lucky enough to live, are hurt, emotionally scarred, have a shocking and disturbing future. Most victims are reluctant to speak out because they feel endlessly ashamed, helpless, humiliated and hopeless, quietly isolated. They turn to alcohol, drugs or self-mutilation, they even contemplate suicide.

What madness is this? Continued violence growing to epidemic proportions across the United States? Every day local newspapers report headlines such as; “Shootings and mass murders on college campuses,” “Husband brutally murders wife and three children,” “Woman jogger raped and brutally beaten in Central Park,” “Mother, child drowns from post-partum depression,” and on and on. The new tragic aspect of this is that these are no longer features of urban life, but headlines drawn largely from the suburbs. Statistics show that 85% of victims of domestic violence are women. About 4,000 women die each year due to acts of violence by current or former partners, spurned boyfriends or predators.

Don’t forget the innocent children who are victims of neglect, sexual, physical and emotional abuse. They are silent spectators of domestic violence, psychologically scarred, trained to self-abuse. Children not only witness domestic violence, but are also at greater risk of being physically abused by standing in the direct line of fire, objects being thrown or weapons being used. Sometimes an older child will try to protect their mother and the batterer will turn on them.

Traumatic experiences like these, whether physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, can have devastating and lasting effects on children, especially early in a person’s development. It affects their “ability to think, feel, believe and relate to others”.

One of the most popular and overlooked forms of domestic violence in the United States is sibling abuse. Most of these violent acts involve slapping, pushing, biting, kicking and punching, which end in death. Many young people are not only cruel to their siblings; They also physically abuse their parents. Parents who are victims of a violent teenager often find themselves in a dire dilemma. They love this child dearly, and will suffer in silence in fear and shame rather than report the abuse to the proper authorities, fearing that their child will be taken away from them. They cannot understand this graphic expression of anger, so they do soul searching because they believe that they may have contributed in some way to this provocation. Although calling 911 may be the most difficult decision a parent can make, it is one of the most effective ways for young people to take responsibility for their own actions, so that they know that violence does not pay.

Frail, frail elderly people may sometimes be unable to help themselves and may suffer neglect, as well as physical and emotional abuse and financial exploitation. They are no exception in this world full of violence and atrocities. Perpetrators of elder abuse may be family members, professional caregivers, and so on. These abuses exist in the home as well as in care facilities. Rough handling, use of physical restraints, torture, cursing, insults, inadequate provision of food or water, delay in medical care, inadequate assistance with hygiene or bathing, keeping own urine and feces in unchanged diapers, exposing them to constant infection. .

Because the elderly sometimes can’t hear or see well, or can’t give commands physically or verbally like they used to, they become easy targets for abuse by family members or their supposed caregivers. Through scams, seniors are drained of their bank accounts, life savings are wiped out, credit cards are misused, Social Security and pension checks are stolen, or they are forced to sign contracts that create financial obligations. They are also made to make a will which would not normally be done, which would favor the exploiters.

Patterns of abuse and violence

Although abuse takes the form of physical violence, it also causes damage on an emotional and verbal level. Although the abuser appears to be a powerful and intimidating being, they lack self-esteem and maintain a sense of power and control by constantly attacking the person or child’s self-worth. Physical pain, death, or the death of a loved one can make a person or child feel helpless, humiliated, ridiculed, or verbally intimidated until they “remove the person’s feelings of self-worth and independence,” and yield. Abusers may show their victims threatening looks or gestures, such as throwing objects at the victim, breaking dishes, destroying property, or “Do as I say or else!” Afraid to submit to them by showing arms to convey such a message.

Controlling power is the driving force that motivates the abuser. The abuser must always be in charge of the relationship, making all the decisions and expecting their partner to perform without complaining. The victim becomes the person’s possession, to be done with as he or she sees fit. “Without me you are nothing!” By making such statements. “You don’t need anyone but me!” “You’re mine!” The abuser is isolating the victim from the outside world, making the victim more dependent on herself. The victim is no longer allowed to meet family members and friends or go anywhere or meet anyone without permission. Eventually, through fear and manipulation, the victim becomes a prisoner of the abuser.

Abusive individuals are often impulsive, move frequently, change jobs, and are emotionally dependent on their partner. They are also known for being blame-shifters, never taking responsibility for their actions. It will always be someone else’s fault. The abuser will accuse the partner of having an affair with an imaginary lover, dressing provocatively to attract other men, for example, or neglect, financial abuse, the house was not clean, the laundry was not done, dinner was not served. ready; Any instability of reasoning that might appear to justify the abuse. A pattern of assault may begin with emotional and verbal abuse, but often escalates to shock and full-blown displays of physical force, making anyone who tries to intervene feel bad…

Guilt begins to take over when the oppressor comes back to reality and sees their masterpiece of brutal art. Abusers do not feel remorse or responsibility for what they have done, but what the world can see and the dire consequences it causes. Simply put, their concern is about getting caught and being punished without concern for their victim. Many abusive individuals are under the influence of substance abuse at the time of the attack and attribute their violence to it. The only fact is that the abuser abuses his or her victims, because he or she chooses to abuse.

After the storm comes the calm. Many partners betrayed by their abuser’s sudden change in behavior accept the peace offering as a show of genuine love for the person and an open, genuine apology that it will never happen again, often ending in sex. Some call it the honeymoon period. Victims begin to relax, convincing themselves with excuses: “He loves me”; “He says he’s sorry”; “He says he needs me”; “He’s not a bad guy.” Still in denial, they keep making excuses: “He lost his job, and he did what he did because he was under pressure; “He just had an unfortunate stroke of luck;” “It was my fault he got so upset. , “etc., etc. Because of this blind attitude, they don’t realize that they are putting themselves in a vulnerable position, balanced on a dangerous parapet of trust, confidence and risk, which makes it more difficult for the abuser to leave. .

The victim, feeling all is well, goes about his day happily, while the abuser begins to develop the next strategy of attack, to recreate their madness, planning a situation where the cycle of violence will continue once again.

No human being should ever have to go through such a horrible existence and incredible outpouring of pain and suffering.

So why do women in particular stay in such abusive relationships?

For many reasons; They are financially dependent on these men; They fear that if they try to leave, they will put themselves and their children in great physical danger. Some women lack job skills, and cannot find employment to support themselves; And fear the unknown; No place to stay; Staying away from friends and family members etc. And for those who have careers, these abused women fear that the abuser will call where she works and cause problems. She is terrified of losing custody of her children because the abuser might lie about her, and so on.

Violence is indiscriminate. It occurs frequently across all age groups, ethnic backgrounds, religions, same-sex/lesbian/transvestite relationships, with any type of sexual partner, and at all economic levels. One can see that among the perpetrators of this violence are intelligent and motivated individuals, college graduates, entrepreneurs, high-ranking officials as well as prominent suburbanites.

So what is America doing to stop the violence and help the victims?

Federal, state, and local government programs have been addressing domestic violence for years and have succeeded in keeping some families safe. Great efforts across America have had a significant impact on providing victims with medical and psychological care, protection, shelter and food, enacting laws that recognize the rights of crime victims, and more.

While we may decide that violence has become a way of life as well as a crisis in modern America, remember that the core of this nation is the warm and productive families that make us the leading, most diverse, and respected nation. which exists today. Positive families provide a safe, warm, loving and stable environment for their children. These men and women deeply honor their roles as parents and spouses. Tough love, mutual respect and understanding are the basis of their homes.

Families working together, “are deeply concerned with the preservation of this greatest of human relationships.” This is what America is all about.

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