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If Having to Negotiate Makes You Tense, Consider These Negotiating Tips

This article is the first of nine articles that describe the lessons I learned at the negotiating table. Some are lessons learned from success and some are based on mistakes I’ve made. However, in each case, there was a “lesson learned” that I would like to share so that I could avoid some of the pitfalls I encountered along the way.

Over the years, most people I’ve worked with in North America have felt uncomfortable with the negotiation process. On the other hand, I have to admit that, of all the aspects of putting “the deal” together, I enjoy it the most.

The first thing to remember is that every “deal” has some elements in common; No two deals are the same. Reaching a final deal is a process with infinite possibilities because there are no hard and fast rules or magic formulas that fit all deals exactly the same. It is not science; It is an art. Creativity does much more than the analytical phase of “deal” making.

While I have successfully put together many deals around the world, I have learned something new from each one. Yes, I have made mistakes too, but I have learned from those mistakes and put them in “lessons learned”, prepared to experience them, and as far as I know have never made the same mistake again.

Here are some important lessons I learned:

1. Everything in life is negotiable and whether you realize it or not, you are negotiating every day.

2. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. You don’t necessarily get what you deserve in life; You only get what you negotiate for.

3. Never give something without getting something in return.

4. Don’t focus on the individual; Focus on the “deal”. Do not personalize the negotiation process.

5. Don’t react to the other party’s offer, repeating or restating in response while giving time to think.

6. For a successful outcome, both parties to the negotiation must feel satisfied. Don’t hammer the other party into submission because they will spend their time and energy to the detriment of both parties in the future.

7. Don’t agree to something too quickly or the other party might feel like they’ve “left something on the table.”

8. To win both parties, we need to “enlarge the legs” before we cut them in half.

9. “Knowledge is power.” The more you have, the better the results. Ask open-ended questions and let the other party talk.

10. Don’t play into the stereotypical North American image at the negotiating table. In other words, don’t get into the habit of “splitting the difference” just to fix the problem.

11. When dealing with other cultures, do not overestimate English comprehension based on English speaking skills. Also try to understand some cultural and linguistic nuances of the other party.

12. Remember that negotiating can be a lot of fun and most people enjoy it once they get into the “game”.

Stay tuned for more insights!

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