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Spanking Children

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Spanking Poll Results on Rexanne.com:

Voters – 233

Percentage of readers who do not spank their children: 37%

Percentage of readers who spank their children: 62%

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I am totally against flogging. I know that almost twice as many of you spank your children than don’t. At the risk of alienating 62 percent of my subscribers, I cannot, in good conscience, keep my thoughts to myself. 😉

I think we have evolved enough as humans to understand that cruelty begets cruelty. Assault is physical violence. So is whipping. I don’t believe that spanking children teaches them to care for their parents or caregivers any better than other ways of encouraging them. If it is illegal to hit an adult, what makes it legal to hit a child? Considering that the parent or guardian must be three times older than the child, does this not raise issues of bullying?

Many of the comments left on the strike survey quoted the biblical phrase, “Put down the rod, destroy the child.” When we consider that the Bible was written many thousands of years ago, we must also consider that we may have progressed to the point where the interpretation of the Bible should probably be considered as it was before. I do not believe that parents should beat their children into submission, any more than I believe that criminals should be stoned by mobs, as was the case many years ago.

Many parents (including myself) have neglected to replace spanking with another form of harsh punishment. Refraining from spanking our children does not prevent them from being disciplined. We have created a generation of children who are boundless in our zeal for compassionate and gentle parenting. Although I am very happy that many parents choose not to spank their children, I am saddened to see that many children today do not respect authority. Without boundaries, children are vulnerable, constantly testing the limits… begging to compromise their safety. By removing corporal punishment, we need to find a healthy substitute.

Another comment that was mentioned frequently in the study was about spanking a child “for love.” I think this means that a parent is punishing their child because they love them. Yes, try to discipline your child when necessary. My only request is that you do not raise your hand or voice to them to achieve this. My methods have been to remove the opportunity, after the warning. It may not be the best way to set boundaries for kids but it works well with my daughters…most of the time. 😉

Another interesting comment was from a mother who said that she used to spank her child when the child was very rude. Well, you know, I wanted to think that way for two seconds! When my oldest daughter misbehaves, my instinct is to hit her… but I don’t. Now he is an inch taller than me and almost taller than me. Not a good time to start shaking his ass. He would laugh at me or even hit me. Neither method seems to deserve to remain in power! Although this may seem tempting, it is not the answer. In order to grow as human beings, we must adopt humanistic ways of teaching our children to have morals.

The comment that confused me the most was from the parents who said they didn’t spank their child “right away.” The child is told that he will be spanked while the parent goes somewhere to “calm down” before inflicting a severe punishment. Sorry, this one gives me the willies. To me, this is a form of mental torture. When I think of a small child, maybe a small child (or a teenager who has started to panic) in such a situation, it gives me a lot of peace in my heart. If I had been a child, patiently waiting to be spanked, I think I would have decided to run away. Why do I keep waiting for the parent to come back, so stupidly calm in the face of my deepest fears, and let them hurt me? I don’t think this is a good idea, no matter what happens. I would rather see a parent shake an infant out of frustration, as with a disobedient child, than ponder for a while and then act. I’m sure I just contradicted the parenting advice many of you have heard from the experts. These experts don’t measure an inch in my life. I can’t imagine a child psychologist thinking this is okay.

I am 100% committed to the no whipping philosophy. I believe that flogging will be outlawed in many countries within a few years. This practice has been a traditional ritual tool for a very long time.

Please, my dear readers who do not have my opinion, I ask you to think otherwise. Many parents struggle for lack of a good solution to this problem. There are other ways. It’s not always easy, I know. Spanking may be the easiest way to keep a child in line for a while, however, if we have some tools that work, we will be better parents.

Copyright 2000 – 2005 – Rexanne Mancini

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