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When to Contact Your Ex Boyfriend – And What You Should Say to Get Him Back
Divorce is one of the most unnatural events in nature. You go from talking and seeing each other every day to a complete lack of contact. Calling, emailing, texting… all the things you do every day are suddenly banned. It’s like deleting someone from your life overnight.
And if you’re trying to get your ex back? Things get very difficult. In trying to get him back in his life, you may have already made some big mistakes. Do you chase your ex to some degree? Should you call her or ask her to give the relationship another chance? If so, how long did you wait before meeting your first boyfriend? Was it weeks? Days? Even just a few hours?
It’s not easy to know what to do when a guy dumps you. When such a big conflict angers you, you are filled with a lot of uncertainty. Even the smallest things seem big after the fact, and minutes can seem like hours. You’re looking at the phone, waiting for your boyfriend to stop the destruction… and at the same time you’re fighting the urge to call him yourself.
Most women who can pick up the phone don’t know what to say. Is there anything you can say to your friend that will get you back? Should you let him know that things will be different, or promise him that he will change? The best question: do you know what’s wrong with your relationship in the first place? Calling your ex without even knowing what to say to him is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. If you think he wants to hear you go on and on about how much you love him and how much you want him, or that you “should” be together, you’re probably being rude.
When trying to figure out when to get in touch with your ex, you need to have a clear head and a positive attitude. A breakup is not a good time to reconnect with your ex. Good news? Waiting here alone and not doing a single thing can go miles and miles to win your relationship back. Bad news? This is also where you can pick up the phone and call or text him. You’ll feel like doing nothing is ruining your chances of reconciliation, and with every passing moment you’ll feel like your partner is slipping away.
Try to understand something, and the sooner you understand it, the better off you will be: there is no quick way to end your relationship. Not on your end, anyway. After your boyfriend broke up with you, he took a lot of control over what happens in your relationship. Chasing her, calling her, or trying to fix things right now will only make things worse. You’ll give up any control or power you may have had, and it’s like you’re giving your ex permission to move on. But don’t run after your girlfriend after the breakup? You are also taking control of what happens next.
Put yourself in your ex’s shoes for a minute. They throw you away. He knows you’re upset, he knows you still love him…so what does he think is going to happen? Your boyfriend expects you to send him away. This comforts him, for two reasons. One, it feeds his ego. Two, now they know they can get back at you with two fingers. Should he go out with other girls, to see something else? Yes they should. Because now is the time to do these things without danger. By letting him know that you’re sitting around crying and waiting by the phone, you’ve given your ex the freedom to do whatever he wants…and your ex to come down as a protective giant again.
Do you want to prevent your ex from dating someone else? You need to remove that safety net as quickly as possible. There are ways and means you can use that will turn your ex-boyfriend’s attention back to you, instead of letting him think about it elsewhere. Learning these techniques can make the difference between getting back together with your boyfriend…or losing him for good.
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