Change Parrent Status When All Sub-Task Done Divorce Doesn’t Have to Destroy Your Kids – 50 Guidelines For Divorcing and Divorced Parents

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Divorce Doesn’t Have to Destroy Your Kids – 50 Guidelines For Divorcing and Divorced Parents

Tsatirani malangizowa kuti kusintha kwa chisudzulo ndi kukonzanso banja ndi kumanganso kukhala kosavuta kwa inu ndi ana anu.

1. Ngati simunachite kale, imbani pangano ndi Ex wanu. (Zindikirani: Ex wanu sayenera kuchita zomwezo.) Makolo osudzulidwa angathe kuchita bwino kulera limodzi. Kupambana kumeneko sikungayambe ndi mgwirizano koma, pang’onopang’ono, kuyimitsa moto ndikofunikira.

2. Mumamatirana kwamuyaya. Tsiku lina, mudzakhala Agogo ndi Agogo a makanda omwewo. Ndipo makandawa akadzakula amabwereza nkhani zomwe anamva za Agogo ndi Agogo. Ichi chidzakhala cholowa chanu. Kodi mukufuna kujambulidwa bwanji?

3. Kusudzulana kumapangitsa kuti anthu asayambe kukhulupirirana. Landirani izi ndipo yesetsani kumanganso chikhulupiriro ndi kulankhulana ndi kholo lina, ngakhale ngati mukuchita ntchito yonseyo. Ndipo, khalani oleza mtima, mabala amalingaliro amafunikira nthawi kuti achire.

4. Khazikitsani ubale wabizinesi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale. Bizinesiyo ndi kulera limodzi kwa ana anu. Maubale abizinesi amakhazikika pa kupindulana. Zogwirizana ndi malingaliro ndi zoyembekeza sizigwira ntchito mu bizinesi. M’malo mwake, mu bizinesi yopambana kulankhulana kumakhala patsogolo ndi mwachindunji, nthawi yoikidwiratu imakonzedweratu, misonkhano imachitika, ndondomeko zimaperekedwa, zokambirana zimangoyang’ana pa bizinesi yomwe ili pafupi, aliyense ndi waulemu, ulemu wovomerezeka amawonedwa, ndipo mapangano amawonekera, omveka bwino, ndi zolembedwa. Simufunikanso kukonda anthu omwe mumachita nawo bizinesi koma muyenera kuyika malingaliro olakwika pambali kuti muchite bizinesi. Kuchita zinthu ngati bizinesi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale kumatha kukhala kwachilendo komanso kovutirapo poyamba kotero ngati mumadzipeza mukuchita zinthu zosagwirizana ndi bizinesi, thetsani zokambiranazo ndikupitiliza kukambirana nthawi ina.

5. Pali mitundu iwiri ya nkhani iliyonse. Mwana wanu angayese kufotokoza mfundo zake m’njira yoti azikuuzani zimene akuganiza kuti mukufuna kumva. Choncho perekani mwayi kwa kholo lina pamene mwana wanu akufotokoza za chilango chodabwitsa ndi/kapena mphotho.

6. Osapereka malingaliro zotheka kapena kupanga makonzedwe mwachindunji ndi ana omwe angotsala pang’ono kutha msinkhu. Ndipo, nthawi zonse tsimikizirani zomwe mwakambirana ndi mwana wamkulu ndi kholo lina ASAP.

7. Kusintha pakati pa nyumba ya Amayi ndi nyumba ya Atate kaŵirikaŵiri kumakhala kovuta. Onetsetsani kuti ana anu ali aukhondo, adyetsedwa, okonzeka kupita, ndikukhala ndi zida zawo zonse ikafika nthawi yoti asinthe. Chabwino, ngati kuli kotheka, peŵani kusintha kowopsa mwa kukonza nthawi yanu yogawana kuti Loweruka ndi Lamlungu ayambe Lachisanu pambuyo pa sukulu ndi kutha ndi kusiya sukulu Lolemba m’mawa.

8. Musamaulule foni kuchokera kwa kholo lina kapena kuchepetsa kucheza kwa mwana wanu ndi kholo lina. M’malo mwake, onetsetsani kuti mwana wanu alipo kuti alankhule ndi kholo lina akakhala pafoni.

9. Musakambirane ndi ana anu za chisudzulo, zachuma, kapena nkhani zina za akulu. Mofananamo, peŵani kunena chilichonse choipa ponena za kholo lina ndi banja lake ndi mabwenzi kwa ana anu.

10 Ana amamvetsera nthawi zonse – makamaka pamene mukuganiza kuti sakumvetsera. Chotero, peŵani kukambitsirana za chisudzulo, ndalama, kholo lina, ndi nkhani zina zachikulire pamene ana anu ali m’makutu.

11. Pewani kugwiritsa ntchito mawonekedwe a thupi, mawonekedwe a nkhope kapena zinthu zina zobisika kufotokoza malingaliro oipa ndi malingaliro oipa ponena za kholo lina. Mwana wanu akhoza kukuwerengerani!

12. Mungakambirane ndi ana anu mmene akumvera mpaka kufika powamvetsa. Koma, ngati mutadziwitsa mwana wanu kuti mukuchita mantha ndi tsogolo, mwana wanu nayenso adzachita mantha. M’malo mwake, khalani ndi malingaliro olinganiza amalingaliro omwe amagogomezera kusiyana pakati pa malingaliro ndi zenizeni.

13. Musamagwiritse ntchito mwana wanu ngati wotumiza mauthenga kapena ndalama.

14. Thandizani ufulu wa mwana wanu wokaona agogo ndi achibale awo. Ana amapindula podziwa kumene anachokera komanso makolo awo. Ndipo, ana amakonda mwambo. Banja lalikulu limapatsa ana chidziwitso chokhazikika, kulumikizana, komanso kudziwika – makamaka panthawi yachisudzulo. Kumbukirani kuti palibe achibale omwe ali abwino kapena oyipa – amangosiyana.

15. Pewani kufunsa mwana wanu kapena kumukakamiza kuti akuuzeni zambiri zokhudza moyo wa makolo anzanu kapena ntchito yawo.

16. Kholo lirilonse liyenera kukhazikitsa ndi kusunga ubale wake ndi ana. Aliyense wa inu asakhale mkhalapakati pakati pa ana ndi kholo linalo. Ndipo, palibe wa inu amene akuyenera kukhala woyimira mlandu, kupereka mlandu wa mwana kwa kholo lina.

17. Khalani pa nthawi yokatenga ndi kutsika. Musalowe m’nyumba ya kholo lina pokhapokha ngati mwaitanidwa kuti mulowe.

18. Unansi wa mwana wanu ndi makolo ake udzasonkhezera maunansi ake kwa moyo wake wonse. Musamayike mwana wanu pamalo pomwe ayenera kusankha pakati pa makolo ake kapena kusankha komwe angasunge kukhulupirika kwa m’banja lake. M’malo mwake, muloleni kuti azikonda makolo onsewo popanda kuopa kukwiyitsa kapena kukhumudwitsa mnzakeyo.

19. Musamakhumudwe ngati wachinyamata wanu akufuna kukhala ndi anzake. Osamukankha, koma khalani opezeka. Ngati mukuona kuti mumakanidwa ndiponso ngati simunamukonde, mwana wanuyo nayenso angaone ngati akukanidwa.

20. Yembekezerani kuti ana anu angakhale osokonezeka, odziimba mlandu, achisoni ndi/kapena osiyidwa chifukwa cha kusudzulana. Vomerezani malingaliro awo kukhala abwino ndipo akumbutseni kuti ngakhale kuti banja likusintha kwambiri, inu ndi Atate/Amayi mudzakhala makolo awo nthaŵi zonse.

21. Ngakhale kholo linalo litakhumudwitsa mwana wanu kapena kulephera kukwaniritsa lonjezo lanthaŵi yake, mudzamuuza mwanayo kuti mosasamala kanthu za cholakwacho kholo linalo limakonda kwambiri mwanayo.

22. Ngati ana anu akufuna kulankhula, khalani chete ndi kumvetsera.

23. Adziwitseni ana anu za tsiku ndi tsiku za moyo wawo ndi kupatukana kwanu/kutha kwa banja m’njira yomwe angamvetse.

24. Sungani anangula ambiri otetezera (kupitiriza maubwenzi, miyambo, ndi chilengedwe) momwe mungathere.

25. Musamalepheretse ana anu chifukwa chodziimba mlandu kapena pongofuna “kuwagula”. Ana amafuna kugona mochedwa koma amafunika kupuma. Ana amafuna maswiti koma amafunikira masamba. Ana amasonyeza zofuna zachuma koma ali ndi zosowa zamaganizo. Perekani ana anu pang’ono pa zimene akufuna komanso zambiri zimene akufunikira.

26. Kumbukirani kuti palibe amene ali woyipa kapena wabwino. Khalani owona mtima (ndi inu nokha) za omwe muli nawo kale komanso mphamvu zanu ndi zofooka zanu.

27. Muzilanga ana anu mosasinthasintha. Ikani malire, kuwapatsa ufulu mkati mwa malo ochepa, ndikukhazikitsa malamulo kunja kwa “corral.”

28. Pewani kupereka mauthenga osakanizika kapena ziyembekezo zabodza za kuyanjananso.

29. Kumbukirani kuti ndondomeko iyenera kusintha nthawi ndi nthawi kuti igwirizane ndi zochitika komanso kukula kwa mwana wanu. Ngati mukufunika kusintha ndandanda dziwitsani kholo lina lanu ASAP. Pamene kholo lanu liyenera kusintha ndondomeko yanu sonyezani kusinthasintha ndikuyenda ndi kuyenda.

30. Gawirani zinthu zabwino zomwe mumakumbukira, koma musakhale ndi moyo wakale.

31. Ganizirani zolekanitsa ana anu nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi kuti kholo lirilonse lipatule nthaŵi ndi mwana aliyense.

32. Muuzeni mwana wanu kwa ana apafupi amene angasewere nawo kunyumba yake yachiwiri.

33. Ganizirani kuchita misonkhano yabanja pamwezi, ndi mpando wozungulira, kukambirana za ntchito zapakhomo, mavuto, ndondomeko, mapulani ndi zovuta.

34. Gwirizanani ndi kholo lanu kuti zochitika za kusukulu, zochitika ndi zochitika zitheke. Ndani adzagula zithunzi zakusukulu? Ndani adzayendetse maulendo apamtunda? Ndani adzagwire ntchito yosonkhanitsa ndalama? Ndani adzagwire ntchito ya sayansi? Adzagula ndani zinthu zakusukulu? Ndani adzagwire mphatso ya mphunzitsi?

35. Musaiwale miyambo ndi miyambo yakale ya m’banja – izichita ndikupanga zatsopano.

36. Khalani okonzeka kulekanitsa zosowa zanu ndi zosowa za ana anu ndikuyika zosowa zawo patsogolo.

37. Musamalere nkhani za ubereki kusiyana ndi zandalama.

38. Ngati n’kotheka, auzeni ana anu za kulekana kumene kuli kuyembekezera kholo limodzi lisanachoke. Konzani nthawi ya kusintha ngati mungathe.

39. Kumbukirani kuwuza ana anu:

(a) Bambo/Amayi anu ndi ine tinapanga chisankho chosudzulana chifukwa tinkaganiza kuti zingakhale bwino kwa aliyense.

(b) Ine ndi abambo/amayi ako timakukonda ndipo tidzakukonda nthawi zonse. Chikondi chimene kholo limakhala nacho pa mwana sichitha.

(c) Ine ndi mayi/bambo ako tikugwira ntchito limodzi kuti tikusamalire.

(d) Ine ndi amayi/abambo ako tili ndi ubale wapadera ndi iwe. Mutha kutikonda tonse awiri ndipo osamva kuti zikutanthauza kusankha pakati pathu, monga momwe aliyense wa ife amakondera inu ndi mbale/mlongo wanu.

40. Onetsetsani kuti anyamata kapena atsikana ndi amene angakhale makolo opeza akuyenda pang’onopang’ono, musamalepheretse chisudzulo, musasokoneze ubwenzi wa mwana ndi mmodzi wa makolo ake enieni, ndiponso musalimbikitse mwanayo kuti aziwatcha Amayi kapena Abambo.

41. Ana, a msinkhu uliwonse, angazengereze kukhala ndi kholo pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana. Makolo onse awiri ayenera kulimbikitsa mwanayo kupita ndi kholo lina.

42. Ngati simuli ogwirizana zingasokoneze mwana wanu ndikutsimikizira kwa iye kuti akhoza kukusokonezani.

43. Onetsetsani kuti makolo a bwenzi la mwana wanu akumudziwa kholo mnzako ndi kudziwa kuti akhoza kumukhulupirira ndi mwana wawo.

44. Ngati ndinu kholo lakutali:

(a) Kumbukirani kuti mwana wanu ndi mbadwa ya digito. Kumbali ina, kutengera zaka zanu, mutha kukhala osamukira ku digito. Gwiritsani ntchito chidziwitso chapamwamba cha mwana wanu chaukadaulo kuti muzitha kulumikizana.

(b) Onerani TV limodzi. Muuzeni mwana wanu kuti mudzakhala mukuwonera pulogalamu yomwe amamukonda ndipo mudzakhala okonzeka kuyankhula za izo.

(c) Mpatseni mwana wanu maenvulopu a manila amene analembedwa kale ndi adilesi, osindikizidwapo kuti akutumizireni ntchito za kusukulu ndi mapepala ena.

(d) Kujambula mawu ndi mavidiyo kwa wina ndi mnzake. Palibe chonena? Dzilembeni kuti mukuwerenga buku ndikutumiza bukulo ndi zojambulidwa kwa mwana wanu.

(e) Kumbukirani zochitika zazing’ono. Tumizani makadi, zithunzi ndi makalata a Halloween, Tsiku la Valentine, 4 July, ndi zina zotero.

(f) Khazikitsani makamera apakompyuta anu ndi makompyuta a ana anu. Gwiritsani ntchito maimelo a kanema ndi YouTube kuti mulumikizane.

(g) Gwiritsani ntchito My-space, Facebook, ndi Twitter kuti muzilumikizana, ngati mungathe kutero mwachinsinsi komanso mosamala.

(h) Onetsetsani kuti ana anu ali ndi mafoni a m’manja ndipo nambala yanu yaikidwa. Gwiritsani ntchito mameseji ndi zithunzi kuti muzilankhulana tsiku lonse.

(i) Pitirizani ntchito za kusukulu. Atumizireni aphunzitsi maenvulopu a manila olembedwa kale, osindikizidwa kuti zikhale zosavuta kukutumizirani zosintha. Ngati simukumva chilichonse onetsetsani kuti mwayambitsa kulumikizana ndi aphunzitsi pafoni ndi imelo.

45. Pangani ubwenzi ndi mabanja ena osudzulidwa amene apambana pakusintha kwawo ndipo agwiritseni ntchito ngati alangizi.

46. ​​Chisudzulo sichinthu, koma ndi ndondomeko. Lolani inuyo, mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu wakale ndi ana anu kwa zaka zosachepera ziŵiri kuti musinthe.

47. Kusudzulana pakokha sikungawononge ana ako. Ndi momwe mumachitira ndi kusudzulana komwe kuli ndi mphamvu yowononga njira zawo zothanirana nazo. Mkangano wopitilira komanso kusapezeka kwa makolo omwe abwerera ku unyamata wopenga wa anyamata ndi atsikana ndi omwe ali olakwa.

48. Musagwiritse ntchito ana anu kuti akwaniritse zosowa zanu zokhala ndi bwenzi. Ngati mulibe, PEZA MOYO!! Izi ndi zofunika kwambiri kuti inu (ndi mwana wanu) achire kuchokera kuchisudzulo. Pezani thandizo kuchokera kwa abwenzi, abale, magulu othandizira, mphunzitsi wothetsa banja. Ganizirani zoyamba kulandira chithandizo ndi katswiri wodziwa zamisala yemwe ali ndi chilolezo. Lingalirani kulowa nawo Makolo-Opanda-Partners, Co-dependent Anonymous kapena gulu la mpingo la anthu osudzulidwa/masiye.

49. Kuthetsa banja sikutanthauza kutha kwa banja kapena udindo wanu wakulera. Ndipotu, pamene banja likukonzekera kukonzanso ana amafunikira makolo amphamvu ndi osamala kuposa kale. Ngati inu ndi/kapena wakale wanu muli otopa kwambiri kuti mukhale makolo amenewo pezani zoloŵa mmalo zosakhalitsa zomwe zingapereke ana anu zomwe akufunikira.

50. Mwana aliyense amafunikira kholo limodzi lachikondi ndi lokhazikika. NDI udindo wanu kukhala kholo limenelo. Ndipo, ngati mwana wanu ali ndi mwayi wokhala ndi kholo lina lowonjezera – kholo lachikondi, sangalalani – chifukwa palibe mwana yemwe angakhale ndi anthu ochuluka omwe amamukonda.

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