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13 Ways to Relax and Look Busy at Work

So, you have plunged yourself into the world of white collar, belt loosening. Whether you work for a small business or a big business, we know who you are, and we know you want to take every opportunity to be lazy and look busy. Enjoy these proven ways that have been viewed by yours truly (yes, for real).

1. Sighing loudly all the time. It works especially well when you’re sitting in a chair during meetings or whenever you’re at your desk.

2. Set Outlook (or your main email program) to sound each time you receive an email. Then enter the text to play every 45 seconds or so. Another simple trick is to set your email program to deliver your emails after hours (you should know this, I can’t provide anything).

3. Make sure your application has open source software. Also make sure your browser has multiple tabs open. This will also make it difficult for your managers to see your open Online Dating and Bride Mail pages.

4. Keep a hard and soft copy of the Excel spreadsheet, and make sure it has lots of numbers and graphs that no one but you can understand. Pull it when someone passes by (which brings up another point, find the back glass that is connected to your monitor) and take it somewhere.

5. Set your instant messages as “busy” or “in a meeting”.

6. I know what you’re thinking, but don’t buy a privacy screen for your monitor. To the casual co-worker, they’ll put you down as “yes I’m working on a very important, top-secret project”, but to the real-life connoisseur you’re just trying to upgrade your latest Desktop Tower. Security is not recognized.

7. Get a Bluetooth headset and pretend you’re talking whenever you’re not at your desk. Or if you have friends, you can talk to them.

8. Make sure you’re four minutes ahead of everyone else. You can’t put in those extra hours. 9. Move quickly. And if you’re really gun-ho, run.

10. Check your watch often during meetings or when someone is talking to you. After all, you have a place to sit and people to watch.

11. Add your services. There is kissing in every office, use this to your advantage and make him do all the complaining.

12. Keep hidden boxes of slimming foods. When you come back from lunch, make sure no one is looking and put a few on your desk. You don’t have time for lunch.

13. If you are a boy, loosen the neck tie and unbutton the top button. Ladies… forget about doing your hair in the morning, the look of polished hair will cause doubts.

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