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How to Heal the Hurt Caused by a Cheating Husband
The letters I receive from some of my readers really touch me because I know how these women feel. I often hear comments like “I’ve never been so sad or depressed in my life,” or “I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again,” or “things will never be the same for me.” later.” I completely understand. Knowing that your husband has turned you on in this way is like pulling you out of what you thought was your life. You begin to question everything you thought you knew about your husband, yourself, and your family. You begin to question your judgment. you, what you want, and your ability to trust again. But, I can tell you from personal experience that the pain will eventually go away, whether you want to stay in the marriage or not. In the next article, I will tell you how to start the healing process.
Don’t make rash decisions or judgments based on fear or assumptions that may not be true: Often times, the fear and negative feelings that we experience because of betrayal can lead us to do things that we will later regret. You often need distance to make decisions that are good for you (and not for anyone else.) Tell your husband that you need some time to decompress and plan for what’s going on.
Many women immediately decide that they want a divorce and regret it later. Or, they may think that the issue is their fault because they ignored the signs, let themselves go, and are no longer important. These things are not true. Oftentimes, women will use these false thoughts as the basis on which they portray themselves as guilty. They are not. You are not. Regardless of the situation, your husband chose to do what he did. There were other roads he could have followed and he didn’t. This cannot and should not be held against you. Don’t take this to yourself. He is guilty here. And don’t let his choice make you change what you know about yourself.
When He Says It’s Not You, It’s Him – Believe Him:Men usually take one of two paths when caught cheating. Either he will tell the woman that the relationship does not concern him or he will try to blame her for things he did not do or did not see. Only one of these is true. Men steal to make themselves feel better, to get rid of the doubts that rule their heads. They want to feel beautiful, loved, and strong, but these feelings are difficult. This is in their low self-esteem and self-doubt. This is not something over which you have any control or responsibility.
The relationship is about trying to fix what’s wrong with them, not what’s wrong with you. So, don’t let this story destroy your dignity. If anything, it should confuse him. He is the one who wanted youth and strength under the figurative cracker jack box. This is not a reason to allow his highly questionable decisions to help you with your questions. Honestly, you are the same person you were before you started dating, it’s your husband who is different.
Worry About What Happens to You, Not What Others Think You “Should” Do: Don’t get caught up in what everyone else thinks. It doesn’t matter what your husband wants you to do. It doesn’t matter what your friends and family think you should do. What matters is the best way for you. What do you need to heal? What can make you stronger and better? Don’t apologize if you want to save your family or if you want to leave. Only you know and have heard the history you have with your husband. Only you can hear your thoughts and fulfill your needs. This is all for you. You have to own your truth and walk your own path. You are the one who should own the decisions you make. What is best for you and what you can afford is what matters most. Give yourself permission to be selfish and selfish. You are healing and you don’t need to apologize for it. You have permission to do whatever you go through.
Focusing on Self-Defense and Self-Esteem: Often healing from the pain of infidelity requires you to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence. You can’t be whole if you secretly think you’re not good enough or that you couldn’t “keep” a man. Again, this is his problem, not yours but telling you that this is not going to do you any good if you don’t believe me.
The truth is, we women often abuse ourselves more than anyone else. Our self-talk will be an insult if someone else says it. We tell ourselves that we are not good enough. That we are not really beautiful or promiscuous. That we have flaws that someone will notice. That we are not enough. In order to heal, you need to stop talking to yourself. You have to stop this bad habit of self-hatred. You are important and you are important. Put yourself at the top of your list and take care of the most important person in your life – yourself.
You need to know that you are important. Do whatever will boost your self-confidence and self-esteem. You cannot receive love from others if you do not love yourself. You won’t believe that your husband or anyone else finds you sexy and beautiful if deep down you think you’re full of flaws. Here is a secret that I absolutely know to be true. Nothing is more important to a man than a confident woman who knows, without a doubt, her worth. But, you don’t have to do this to a man. You have to do it yourself.
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